Chapter 11 Index Chapter 14

Subject:      CODY: THE STAND-IN, Chps.12-13
From: (Mithryl)
Date:         1997/08/20
Message-Id:   <5tdedn$1nj$>
Newsgroups:   rec.arts.prose,

                          THE STAND-IN

                      By Cody Ann Michaels
                     c. All rights reserved.

                           Chapter 12

	Vinnie handed me a piece of paper.  "Go to this address.  It's a
hotel.  There's a guy who wants to beat you up." 

	"Oh please, Vinnie, no.  That last guy hurt me so bad."

	"You want I should do it first?"

	"n no."

	"Then shut your mouth.  And take these."  He threw a set of brass
knuckles across the desk.  "The guy is paying extra to do a real number. 
He wants lots of blood.  And screams.  Try to keep your teeth in your

	"Oh my God."  I was peeing my pants.

	"What else?"  Vinnie was rummaging around in one of the desk
drawers.  "Here.  Put on this dress."  He handed it to me.  What can I say
about it? Besides that it was red.  All six inches of it. 

	"You want me to wear this?"

	"Whats a matter?  You got a hearing problem?  That's what I said,
isn't it.  Go ahead.  Put it on." 

	"You mean here?"

	"Look.  Don't give me any aggravation.  I got enough problems. 
Since when did you come all over modest?  You're a whore, remember?  Put
it on.  I want to see what it looks like.  I mean, we have a reputation to
uphold.  I don't send just nobody out.  Yo u have to look good.  You know
what I mean." 

	I took off the black leotard and skirt I was wearing and put on
the dress.  Vinnie watched me.  It covered nothing.  At least nothing that
was illegal.  "What about panties?" 

	Vinnie looked at me.  "What about them?"

	"Vinnie, I can't walk down the street looking like this."

	"Why not?  You do all the time.  The guy said no panties.  And you
was to take the subway.  He didn't want to pay for a car.  Besides, shame
is part of the game, isn't it?" 

	"I guess so."

	"Everything else.  Collar.  Leash.  Gloves.  Stockings.  High
heeled boots.  He wants boots.  For some reason, that turns him on. 
Beating up chicks in boots.  Wear your thigh highs.  Okay.  Get going.  If
you're late, you get docked." 

	"This is uptown."


	"You want me to ride the subway like this?"

	"Babe," he said, "you're really starting to grind me."  He got up
and came round the desk. 

	"noooooo, Vinnieeeee  I... agagagagaaaaaaggggg ow ow OWWWWW"


	When I got to the place, the guy said, "What happened to you?"

	"My boss beat me up for giving him a hard time."

	The guy looked at me.  "The whole side of your face is swollen." 
I wondered if he was going to be mad.  He smiled.  "Cool.  I like it. 
That dress makes you look like a pig." 


	"Did he explain the scenario?"

	"The what?"

	"What I wanted you to do?  Didn't he tell you?"

	"He just said you wanted to hit me."

	"Shit!"  He slammed his fist on a table.  "Fucking asshole.  Can't
anyone get one thing right?"  He was real mad.  Fucking Vinnie.  He didn't
tell me.  The guy was really pissed.  He said I was supposed to be his
fifteen year old daughter who he was fuck ing, and teaching to be a whore. 
Got that?  "yes."  "And then I find out you're holding out on me.  Got
it?"  uh huh.  "And what happens to little girls who hold out on their
fathers?  What?" 

	They get their ass whipped.  He slapped my face.  Backhanded me. 

	"Yeah, you little pig.  How much did I tell you to bring home?"

	"a hundred wHAM a thousand"  I was shooting in the dark.  "That's
more like it.  And how much did you bring me?"  "I don't know wwaaaagggggh
nine hundred?" 

	"You brought me eleven hundred."

	So what was the big deal?  He knew I had collected fifteen hundred
from that john.  For big time stuff.  The guy had called and complained. 
Because he had to brief me himself.  Vinnie hadn't done it.  So he only
gave me eight hundred. I said I had to ha ve ten.  He threw me out.  I
begged.  I told him what Vinnie would do to me if I came up short.  He
picked me up and threw me against the wall.  I bounced off.  Then I got
slammed against the edge of the desk.  Then he used the knuckles. 

	The guy said the client had given me fifteen hundred dollars.  He
made me work it off, fucking and hurting me.  Then I had to beg him to
hurt me.  To punch me in the tits.  I had to think up things for him to
do.  I mean, come on.  This wasn't part of th e act.  He didn't know what
he wanted.  Guys like that can really hurt you.  Cause you never know what
to expect.  They just keep feeling around until they get something.  And
if they don't get it, they blame you.  This guy said I was frigid.  Not to
me. To Vinnie on the phone.  When I got back, Vinnie wanted to know what
happened.  I told him.  Where's the money?  I gave him what the guy gave
me.  He looked at it.  Counted it.  I knew I was in real trouble.  I was
pissing myself, I was so scared.  Vinni e spread the hundred dollar bills
out on the desk.  There were two fifties.  Then he looked up at me.  He
looks like Kojak.  In dark glasses.  "Vinnie," I said, "I can explain. 
That was all he gave me.  Vinnieeee..  nooooo" 

	This time Vinnie didn't fool around.  I thought he was reaching
for my backbone from inside.  He said, "I don't get no pleasure out of
this, kid.  You know that, don't you." 

	"yes. omph."

	Slap.  WHam.  "It's just something I have to do.  To make you see
what you're doing."  Wham.  "Where we stand.  Understand?" 


	"Now, where's the money?"

	"He didn't give it to me."


	"You little pig.  What's the first thing I taught you.  Collect up
front.  That way, if they don't like the service, you've still got the
money.  Go and get it." 


	"The money.  Go back and get it."

	"Vinnie, he might not be there."

	"For your sake, I hope he is."

	The guy said he would like another shot at me.  I said I was only
there for the money.  He said I would have to work for it.  This time he
paid me.  But when Vinnie heard what happened, he said he owed me for the
second session.  I said I didn't care.  L et it ride.  But Vinnie said it
wasn't up to me.  "I own you.  You do what I say.  If someone uses you for
a toilet, he pays me.  Get it?" 

	"y yes vinnie."

	"So go and get it."

	I felt I was working myself deeper and deeper into a hole.  Each
time I went back to the guy, he paid me for the session before.  But he
still owed on the one he had just had.  And each time I took the money
back to Vinnie, he beat me up.  I had just hau led myself out of a stretch
limo one day when I was met by his fist.  He knocked me down.  Right there
on the street.  Then he kicked my ass inside and down into the basement
where he has his office.  He grabbed me by the neck and slammed my face
against the cinderblock wall.  He ran my face along the wall.  Then he
dropped me.  I fell on the floor.  "w wha was tha for ugh"  He kicked me
in the gut.  Vinnie walked over and sat on his desk.  He told the limo
driver to wait.  I was going out again.  He toss ed me a piece of paper. 
"Go to this address.  It's a hotel.  There's a guy who wants to beat you

	"oh god, no Vinnie.  I hurt so bad."

	"You want me to do it first?"

	"No!  no.  I'll go."

	"And take these."  He tossed me something.  "Brass knucks.  He
wants to make you bleed." 

	Oh yeah. reacheed in the desk put this on
he handed me a red dress.  It was small.  Very small.  In fact, it was
little more than a cinch
that held her breathing in check
she was retardee d that way
half a brain
the other one's on the Crab Nebula
i peeled off the miniskirt and stood there in front of the mirror
posing.  She could see herself in the mirror.  Look ther. she looked he
touched her
it's all done like that
Smalhausen's Beer is as good as the next
he licensed the name
that's where the money is
getting someone to use your name 
and pay you to use oit
O.J/'s.  Good on your feet.  Good in your ear
The glasses most men are talking about
20m 202 hindsight
fix your stockings
now stand up
look that way
Point to the Far Side
of the court
kerrpping score is a dangerous game.  You have to keep moving, going on. 
further out
on Maris if need be
Cop a feel
she remembered
but when
in the prison camp
on Rutgerts Island
Now doi you see?  I have to move
Moving out
taking it on the lam
going further out
What did she mean, she was reading someone else's book.  I sent her these
things on a daily basis. 
Why are you reading that book>?  Stop it.
He put down the book and turned to his mother.
If you ever do that again, I will...
But what would he do?  Kill her?  That was too immediate.  He haed to
think of a better reason.  Self defense?  Wouldn't hold up in court. 
Terrorist.  Maybe.  She was 92.  And drove like one.  It's a wonder we all
weren't killled the school bus accident
had taken 20 lives
She just got out of their in time.
Anoither moment and the whole intersect would go up
Another thing she said, where do you get off calling this Ireland?
This is the b. d. flick.
Bam bam bam they were doing it in the third row.
Tia you're Cody.
Listen up.

You've been up all night and you've had a hard day.  So what is it?  A
Hard Day's Life.  Party til you drop.  Is this doing something?  Am I
doing it right?  He hit her again.  She went up against the hi boy and the
dishes fell.  Oh, his mother's tea set.  He'd kill her for that.  Like
most men who live in motels, he had all his mother's belongings with him. 
She was destroying them.  With her perfect body.  A teenager's golden
healthy body ruined because of drugs.  And a severe beating she got from
her f ather for going out with boys.  I was giving it away.  He screamed
at me.  I thought he'd kill me.  After that, they put me in a home.  That
was torture.  Worse than Vinnie.  I wanted to get out of there.  They made
me clean the floor.  And when I didn't do it right, they beat me.  It was
a childhood dream.  Clear enough.  A dream of being hurt.  And no one
listening.  No one caring.  They took my father away in handcuffs.  Boy
was he mad.  I waited but he didn't come home.  After awhile, I realized
he wa sn't gonna.  I could breathe.  But it hurt.  I still held it in.  I
couldn't let go.  I was a complete slave.  To the drug, I was nothing.  It
took everything and gave nothing back.  But the weed was a cool smoke and
I craved it.  I had it in every muscle of my body.  No.  Right down to the
cells.  Everything hurt.  Everything screamed in chorus.  I was nothing. 
But pain.  Nada.  Ziltch.  It took a lot of courage to get up again.  But
I had to.  Holding on to the furniture.  The file cabinet.  Climbing i t
drawer by drawer.  Until I got to the top.  He said I was real top drawer,
and he beat me against it.  Turning me so I was facing him.  I didn't have
no legs no more.  They wouldn't hold me.  He held me up just by the blows
of his fist.  In the belly an d under the rib cage.  I didn't have any
vital organs left.  None that was working.  He had made foie gras of my
liver.  I put my arms out straight.  Wrapping them around each other.  In
black gloves.  He liked the look.  Lift the hem a little more.  Godo d.  I
want her really exposed.  See how her cunt is wetting.  She's a hot one. 
She'll give you a good ride.  I promise.  Trust me.  Money back if you
aren't satisfied.  It goes on Cody's debt. 

	This said I had to pay this guy 200 dollars for what?  "I asked
him to wear a condom.  Is that too much to ask?"  Vinnie looked at me as
if I had lost my mind.  "You asked...  Let me get this straight.  No.  You
asked a client to wear a ... what?"  "cond om."  Vinnie looked at me, I
thought he was going to have a heart attack.  Then he got up.  "Vinnie. 
Wait.  I can explain...."""aggggrafdfdgdgdfgfdgdfgadgfdsagas
I was crying
I just wanted to be protected.

Vinnie was in the other room smashing furnituere..  He gets so mad.  He
broke the lamp.  My favorite lamp.  He broke it.  Is that abuse?  I
wonder.  He came to the door.  "Don't just sit there.  Get me something to
eat."  "Wha da you want?"  "I don't know .  A burger.  Fix something."  It
was better than getting beat up.  I made something nice and gave it to
him.  His favorite salad.  What is this?  I said I wanted meat loaf.  He
threw it on the floor and walked out.  I cleaned it up.  When I realized
he w asn't coming back, I wondered, how'm I going to pay the rent?  So I
took in boarders.  People who stayed awhile and then moved on.  A rooming
house.  A respectable place.  I don't take no strangers.  They could be
cops.  How long did they stay?  An hour o r two.  Some stayed longer. 
Some were done in ten minutes.  She slipped her in the back way.  Where
instead of were.  I caught you, Dody.  Now you must pay.  He always called
her Dody.  Don't care what they call you, as long as you collect up front. 
You know what I mean?  She nodded.  slave crawled into the room.  slave
wanted to crawl up inside Mistress Cody, like a big cock.  But not with
his cock.  His head.  He wanted to be a dick.  Not use the one he had.  He
was giving her a nose job.  While she j acked him off. 

	Someone wanted a piece of the action.  And she refused.  I work
alone.  Big mistake.  Lone women can get hurt.  You ought to have some
protection, babe.  Protection from what?> Men beat me up.  What else can
happen?  He showed me. 

	When he got finished, I was spitting blood.  He left and the next
one came.  I said I was already paying Vinnie.  He said he didn't care
what I gave Vinnie.  He wanted his.  And now.  I said I didn't have it. 
But you don't know how much pain you can tak e befoire \a situation
changes.  The next one wanted even more.  But the next one wanted my soul. 
I gave it to him. 

After that, I didn't hurt anymore.

	She looks like a Las Vegas showgirl.  The next morning.  Still in
drag.  As she drags herself up the apartment house steps.  Lady Margaret
is waiting at the door.  Oh please.  Let me alone.  I'll get it.  I
promise.  I will.  A whore's promise is as good as gold.  Because now you
can work them.  Fuck her body.  Her perfect body.  You want some.  I'll
knick you off a piece.  Together, the two have the same luminesense as
one.  But when they are split, they lose some of their radiance, and the
universe bec omes perceptively darker.  Because eventually the entire
universe will divide, drawn into the split.  Becoming two.  The universe
will divide at half past three on a Sunday afternoon between\ here and
Betegeuse.  Then the net will sing and become one.  T here's a domino
effect, you see.  Once you start the process, you can't stop it.  Photons
tend to follow photons.  Thus the character of the spiral will be in
direct proportion to the catheter.  And inverse to the thermometer.  It's
getting hot in here.  Do you think we ought to open a window?  That night
they had the fire and her private papers were burned.  Only what she had
uploaded to the net survived.  Some of it could be recaptured, but not the
original line formations.  Several versions existed.  She hadn't thought
of that.  Did she have to read through the entire texts to correct them? 
Are you nuts?  There's several thousand pages here.  Yeah.  I read them. 
He's a loser.  I've seen his dossiere a thousand times before .  Guys like
him.  Too afraid to touch.  Try it.  You'll like it.  So what if you end
in jail?  You're in one already.  So they nail you for child abuse.  So
what?  You will have had it.  That's all that counts.  Go on.  Touch her. 
See what happens.  Grab her tits.  She's standing there.  Dying for it. 
What do you want her to do?  Beg?  That's just what he wanted.  For her to
tell him what to do.  How to torture her.  Strip her.  Make love.  And
then he had the nerve to complain.  That I was cold.  That I turned him
off?  That I was unimaginative! 

	Give me a break!

	I've had it up to here with men.

	No sensitivity.  None.  What so ever.  I was sitting on the toilet
puking and all he could talkk about was his orgasm.  I'm sorry.  I tried. 
I farted.  A big juicy one.  What did you say?> Nothng.  I farted.  Bitch! 
That got me a slap in the face.  I wasn't supposed to fart in front of
him.  I said I was sorry.  I couldn't help it.  Whap. Whap.  No excuses. 
I felt like I was being absorbed by the toilet.  I was just part of the
porcelain.  Something that didn't work.  He said get out.  He had to shit
.  I said I wasn't finished.  He grabbed me off the pot, pushed me down on
my knees and shoved my face in it.  In my own shit.  Then he threw me out
the door.  Junkie whore.  I lay there on the floor until he came out and
kicked me.  "Make me something to eat."

	I fixed his favorite sandwich.  "What is this?"  Salami.  He
shoved it in my face.  Salami.  I said I waned pastrami.  Wham.  Punch. 
Wham.  So this is my sophisticated night life.  On the Salley show they
made me stand with a sign that said I am a $2 wh ore who gives blowjobs. 
Don't be a dummy like me."  It also said I was twelve.  Oh, yeah, I had to
give out free condums.  People threw them at me.  They said I needed them
more than they did. They were so mean. 

	How old were you?


	Even in Japan that's illegal.

	One must respect the customs of those who are unable to speak. 
For instance, Cody is left handed.  So when she went to eat, she
disrepected the customs of this household.  They looked at her as if
anyone could be expected to eat from the communal pot after she had stuck
her hand in it.  They said they weren't hungry.  They had eaten.  Already. 
On the way.  No appetite.  Cody went on eating.  It was delicous.  They
shuddered.  And looked away.  How obscene.  The teenage queen had it all
to herself in her left handed universe.  One follows the other across
time.  While the other obviates space. 

	Remember, we are now traveling faster than light in reference to
the photons and the space between.  One is obverse.  The other is on.  Now
try the spickets.  No luck.  Don't forget to turn them off.  Otherwise,
you'll have a flood.  It operates sort of as a backhoe on the outer
fabric.  It's ready to blow.  Aneurism in the Ozonasphere.  [Pronouced "oz
o na sfear"] No.  It's pronounced O-zona zfur.  If photons are
continuously being split then that means something is operating at a
distance all the time .  In different parts of the earth.  Get it?  It's
continuous.  You're fishing.  Damn right I am.  I'm going to break this
case4 if it kills me.  Drucker.  Come in Drucker 4. 

The big rigs and the men who work them.  Pumping it out.  Sometimes you
get a dry whole.  Meaning somewhere someone is doing the same thing you're
doing.  More or less.  Give or take.  Adjacent photons.  Back to back. 
Like a mirror.  Only with the same hand.  Splitting light can be a
dangerous game.  He should have known.  Now nothing could stop it.  Cody
was crawling to him. 

                          THE STAND-IN

                      By Cody Ann Michaels
                     c. All rights reserved

                           Chapter 13

	R. reached around and got hold of Cody's big tits and pulled them
back under the teenager's armpits.  oooo nice.  He liked tits.  He liked
to maul them.  He liked to hurt them.  And make the girl cry.  But he
hadn't hurt her yet.  She knew he was going t o.  And she was scared.  But
so far, he was just playing with them.  Squeezing them.  Stretching them
out.  Making the nipples hard.  Making her get horny.  She knew better
than to try and stop him.  She knew that would get her hurt real bad. 
Fast.  So s he just stood there while he fondled her.  From time to time
he would feel down below, to see how wet she was.  She was breathing hard,
and her face was red.  As red as her hair.  It was damp with sweat and
clung to her face.  He liked how uncomfortable s he was looking.  If the
succulent beauty queen looked as uncomfortable as she was, she must have
been real bad.  Tears had started to come already.  Because she knew how
helpless she was.  R. was having a good time, but so far, he hadn't burnt
her, or stu ck anything in her breasts.  He could have, and she would have
to let him, but so far, he hadn't. 

	He forced her to bend over the arm of a chair so he could fuck her
doggie style.  This at the same time allowed him to go on playing with her
big boobs while he fucked her.  She thought he'd tear them off when he
came.  He shot up inside her again and ag ain, and each time, he squeezed
each big mammary as hard as he could.  Cody screamed in pain, both from
the fucking from his big rod, and her tits being crushed to jelly.  When
he was finished, he pulled out.  Putting his hand on her arm, he turned
her ar ound.  And slugged her in the gut.  Hard.  It knocked the wind out
of the broken dispirited fucktoy.  He beat her savage.  In the face and
tits.  Driving his knee hard up into her cunt.  Knocking her over the
chair.  The youngster was a bloody mess before he was done.  Then he
fucked her again.  So hard this time she bled.  He put her over on her
belly and again pulled her tits under her arms.  Hard.  Like he was trying
to get them to touch behind her back.  Cody screamed.  He took some cord
and tied each of the nipples tight So tight they bulged out in a separate
tit on top of the big one.  And he tied them together.  As close as they
would come.  So her big jugs were tied under her arms.  Then he made her
stay that way while she fixed him something to eat.  Cody couldn't bear
the pain.  It was too bad.  She tried to get loose.  Boy, did that earn
her a beating.  He stood her against the refrigerator and beat her so bad
she couldn't stand.  She ended up on her knees.  And he kicked her in the
mouth.  No w, he said, get on your back.  She lay there.  Spread your
legs.  She opened them wide.  He put his foot on her cunt.  Pressing down. 
It hurt already.  The weight crushed the rings inside together and pinched
the flesh.  He liked the way she looked with her big jugs pulled
outsideways.  There was still plenty of meat there.  The nipples were just
under her armpits.  So everytime she moved her arms, she brushed them. 
She was going crazy with pain and sex.  He sat down on an armchair and
watched as she w ent on humping herself.  She didn't care anymore.  She
was sick with sex.  She proved again and again what an animal she was. 

	Later, she had to go out, and she went knowing what she had done. 
Knowing, no matter how beautiful she was, how depraved and ugly she was
inside.  She still had her breasts pulled back.  Under her fishnet
leotard.  You could see how they were.  She kept her arms down to her
side, squeezing the bulbs of the tits.  Keeping herself in this condition
that she knew was depraved.  That she knew made her such a total slut.  So
that everyone could see.  Even at the party.  For the French ambassador. 
And everyo ne said, that's Cody Wainwright, the international slut.  You
want a piece of her?  And everyone did.  Everyone who came up to her and
started feeling around.  Seeing what she would do.  How far she would go. 
Seeing how totally degenerate she was.  Under that false exterior, that
cool, sophisticated look.  Modern career girl.  Slap.  Super model.  Wham. 
Teenage video porn star.  They could have her right there.  Any time. 
Crawl for you.  All you have to do is ask. 

	That night, when I finally was allowed to unwrap the twine from
around my nipples, I could hardly keep from shrieking.  The pain was worse
than when they was tied.  I couldn't touch them.  And I couldn't move. 
Because every time I did, my breasts did, a nd it hurt.  I lay there on
the bed, trying not to breathe.  To stay perfectly still.  Suddenly I
started to cough.  I screamed.  It was terrible.  I rolled over on my
belly, pressing my tits into the mattress, trying to press out the pain. 
It didn't wor k.  But it made me so horny I couldn't stand it.  I just
started to fuck myself with my hands.  Ripping up inside.  Getting myself
off.  I couldn't believe how hard I came.  Again and again.  I lost count. 
I didn't care anymore.  I just gave up.  I rolle d off the bed and shoved
my tits against the rug on the floor.  It had a rough shag.  I jammed my
tits flat.  Then I rubbed them.  Hard.  Harder.  Now I was just jacking
myself off.  I was gushing. I must have lost a gallon of cunt juice.  I
rubbed my tit s and my cunt into the rough carpet.  I knew I couldn't help
myself.  I crawled over to the dresser and got my purse.  My cigarette
lighter.  I turned it on, turning the little wheel to make it shoot out. 
I held it under my right tit, smelling it burn.  Then I put it under my
left nipple.  It was swelled up and purple from being tied, and bleeding
from being rubbed.  I sizzled it.  By this time, I was beyond pain.  I
moved the lighter down and set fire to my cunt hair.  It sizzled, because
it was wet wit h cunt juice, but eventually, it burned.  I felt it, but I
didn't care.  I started to try to burn myself inside, but the lighter kept
going out.  Finally, I kept it far enough away so it would burn and not be
dowsed.  I could feel the fire working up insi de me.  I knew I was evil. 
Beyond evil.  By this time I knew that.  But I didn't care.  I wanted to
make myself even more evil.  An unclean thing.  I burned my tummy and
belly button.  Cody, you filth, I want you to die, I said to myself.  I
kept saying Cody filth.  Pig.  Slut.  Cody filth pig slut
Finally, I couldn't get it lit.  It was out.  I was burned all over.  On
the back side.  The tits.  Not the face.  I hadn't burned my face.  I took
a knife.  And looked at myself in the mirror.  And then I began to cut. 
When I woke up the next day,
I opened my eyes
and screamed.
Kelly found me.  She called the hospital. 


	Maybe I should write short chapters.  It's easier.

	A horn player plays in the night.

	Outside my window.

	On the other side of the courtyard.

	When I got out of the hospital, Kelly was gone.

	I think she knew what to expect.

	She just took off.  Her things are here.  But she's gone.

	I spent six weeks in the hospital.  Getting off the habit. 
Putting myself back together again.  The horn plays above the sound of the
fans.  On the back of the restaurant.  Big industrial air conditioners
that roar in the night.  Keeping people awake.  The horn sort of covers

	Some guy practicing most likely.  Wailing.  Mournful.  And then a
series of short notes.  Staccato.  He's got her.  Cody knows she will
never look the same again.  Mirrors can be cruel.  Especially when you've
been in a knife fight.  And don't know much about defending yourself.  The
face takes some getting used to.  She used to look like Kelly.  Now she
doesn't.  Much.  Anymore.  Unless, Kel's got a long slash down along her
left cheek.  Under her hair.  But you can't hide the eyes.  She looks into
hers .  The eyes are the way back to reality.  She tries to remember.  The
walker tips over.  She falls.  I feel so unglamorous, she thinks.  So
clumpsy.  She gets up.  Where's the bottle.  She drinks a lot.  She's
always drunk now.  Getting out of detox is a heavy trip.  The horn blows
at midnight.  
Who are you? 

Jack Benny.

You're Jack Benny?

That's what I said.  Do you want to channel me?

	She thought she was dreaming.  Jack Benny.  In person.  Actually,
she was having d.t.s.  What did she know of him? 

	During the war he had made a movie about Hitler which had earned
an underground cult following among the literatti.  Other than that, I
didn't know anything about him. 

	She has sat down on the side of the bed.  Her hair is pulled back
in a bun.  She looks like Lucille Ball.  No.  Come on.  The horn hits a
high note.  She falls.  Trying to get in the bathroom.  And shits herself. 
Her anus doesn't work right anymore.  Be cause of what she put into it. 
Now Cody is trying to think what she did.  She can't think straight
anymore.  She crawls through her shit into the bedroom, and gets on the
bed.  Clean it up tomorrow. 

	The man gets through the window and sits on the bed, next to the
sleeping girl.  Raising his horn to his lips, he starts to play.  Monk? 
Dizzy?  'zat you?  In between bars of music, there is silence.  He plays
the silence like it was the main music.  Th e notes are just incidental. 
She's got it there.  She knows she can use it.  Or she can blow it.  For
once in her life, a choice is entirely up to her.  It's her decision. 
There's silence.  Waiting.  When will he play again?  Will he play?  Maybe
he sto pped.  Maybe he went to the bathroom.  Maybe there's not going to
be anymore.  She hears the fans.  The fans are loud.  She had forgotten
all about them.  Now they obtrude once more on her consciousness.  Coming
towards her.  Enveloping her.  He holds her
 in his arms.  Over the main fan.  The one blowing upward.  The large
blades.  He has removed the grating.  Cody struggles. 

	If he drops her, she'll be killed.  She clings to him.  No. 
Please.  She touches the bulge in her belly.  Don't kill my baby.  He
rides her hump.  Her great amorphous belly pressed up into him. 
he's got her
and she's a disease.  She can be treated loikke any other deiseasdde
you tricked me
what did you say?
I said you tricked me/  I diddn't want to come down here like this
ooo i't s hugly the night's meat
checking in
they did it all with her breasts.  She's a cripple now and has to take it
Cody's hands were tied.
not literally
she could have saved him
bvut she changed her mind and didn't
now she would pay
anti virus
the anti cody was out there somewhere, tying up the lawmen and taking
their guns
that's what she did
that's why we diced her
you could hear Cody screaming in the kitchen
go in the baclk and sit down
they'll feed you
she went in
and they gave her some cheese
and a tin of sausage
and some balloons
suck her nipple up into that.  Now seal it.  Her breasts bulged in the
balloons but were constricted at the neck
Big pink balloons filled with Cody's tits.
The tips are good too.
She sucked on one of them.  Cody just stood there.  Taking orders.  She's
a waitress.  She supposed to take ourders.  Take out Dee.  Favorite.  You
know what they're running don't you?  Of course.  But don't tell anybody. 
Back there in the booth, the girl was offered a cup of tea as she sat
there.  Now stand up.  Dee came over to her.  Are you the new girl?  I
wondered what the agency would send out.  hhhmmmm a bit padded in the
hips.  And you could cut some fat off there. 
  Liposuction is a great adventure.  Let me tell you, I recommend it.  The
feeling after it is over.  Sensational! 

	Stand over there.  My God, are they real?  She couldn't imagine
it.  It was terrible.  She waited. 
Now come in. 
She went in
and shut the door
she did
now stand in front of the desk.  You've been a bad girl, Amelda., All
thouse shous/.  The big shhoooooooooo
Tonight we have Shalmo Minsk
and The Flying Zebra brothers

They flew like zebras what do you expect.  Z Bra.  Get it?  She's a 60-Z. 
God.  She's skinny as a scarecrow.  And those tits.  Can you believe it. 
Ever inch of them is real.  Total grope.  Going through the airline
terminal.  Now you know why they are c alled terminals.  Becauise you
terminate your brain at the door.  Type, bitch.  Set it all down.  Do you
know the control you have to have as a court stenographer?  Well it's that
cubed.  Total lobotomy.  Do you mind?  We're just checking for bombs,
Miss.  No need to get iffy.  You've been feeling me up for an hour now. 
And we'll do it until we get damn sick and tired of you.  Pig.  She knelt
at his feet.  How'd I get here?  Pick it up.  Shoot yourself in the brain
again.  He had a clear view of the back of his head.  From inside.  Brain
damage.  She's got a lot of typing to do.  She typed.  With fingers made
of flesh.  From her brother's grave.  Sjhe roi[[ed piut her gut Fucking
the knnife as the horn player kept silent.  Then she remembered the fans. 
 n ooo the horny little coed came back for more. and moree and more until
she couldn't bleed anymore.  And then she died. 

Not quite.  You don't get off that easy.  I own yoour soul.  Don't you
forget it.  She raised the gun again.  Keep shooting until there isn't any
stem like the whole infrastructure is crumbling in on it's own self.  We
are about to go Nova.  You learn it at 10 a.m each day.  If you're on it,
you die.  Sometime.  Somewhere.  That day.  Today it is 10 a.m.  She
pulled the trigger again.  This time placing the gun under her chin for
best respect.  The girl went down hard, twisting the knife.  That was an
interferance.  Pull back.  wha stop
she just barely avoided hitting anybody.
you haven't ridden with her, have you?  In the last two years.  It's a
blody shame.  As long as she can make it back and forth to the diner is
all you care about, isn't it? 
You got to go down again, Cody.
o no please let me alone
i'm too tired.  I've had it.  Don't leve me like this.  What'd you do. 
Thorw me off a building I hit bricks.  I couldn't move.  he picked up the
gun i groped my way upward I didn't care if he hurt me again.  I was going
to stand up to him.  Wham
she took it on the chin
lay down i got to lay down can't breathe I can keep you here like this all
night.  It's up to you. 
okay.  I think she's ready
there was just one single note
]like she was braindead
Joe called himself trailer trash.
she was braindead
they sort of go together
she got up

Chapter 11 Index Chapter 14