From: (Mithryl)
Date:         1997/04/09
Message-Id:   <5igifp$>
Newsgroups:   alt.personals.bondage,

I received this letter from Daylan.

From xxxxxxxxxxxxx.///.edu Tue Apr  8 09:21:29 1997
Date: Tue, 08 Apr 97 03:17:39 EDT
From: Daylan <xxxxxxxxxxxxx.///.edu>
To: Cody <>
Subject: I want to know something

Is this for real? More to the point, is this person named Cody real?  Can
you really be this extremist in your actions? I want to know.  Everything.
Anything you can tell me about you. Your past. Your present.  Your future.
I am waiting. 


Dear Daylan,

	I will try to satisfy your request.  My name is Cody Ann Michaels,
I am a girl, and I am 16.  I am also a pain freak.  In a big way.  Let me
explain.  Shortly after I started the treatments to enlarge my breasts, I
noticed I was beginning to experience continual pain in my muscles and
joints.  This was diagnosed as my having a rare condition somewhat akin to
arthritis.  I had always had it, but the breast treatments had made it
worse.  At times it can be very painful, so that I cannot even bear to
move and other times it is more like having an electric current running
through my body.  No one can tell I have it.  On the outside, I look
normal, as much as any thirteen year old with a 54-24-36 body can look. 
Coupled with this, another side effect of the treatments is that they
keep me perpetually horny.  But having anyone touch me drives me insane. 

	Furthermore, as my breasts grew heavier, it became an almost
impossible chore to hold them up.  The doctors decided that in order to
keep my back straight, I must always wear a tight corset with a steel bar
up the back.  At the top is a wide leather collar that holds my neck in
position and my head back.  The pain, however, grew worse.  Possibly you
will understand therefore, why I originally took refuge in drugs.  I
lived only to get high and to forget the terrible ordeal going on within
myself.  I must have used almost any kind of drug there is.  It was
ruining my life. 

	I eventually discovered that the only way to deal with this
chronic pain was to seek out more pain.  This created an endorphin high,
somewhat like being on drugs.  In desperation, I put an erotic ad on the
internet, even though I feel deeply ashamed to be doing it, practically
exposing myself in front of all those people.  In it, I begged to be
abused and degraded.  I was surprised by the results.  Many cruel and
degenerate people wrote to me.  Many suggested the most horrible
punishments that they would like inflicted on me, either by themselves or
someone else.  Desperately I tried to keep my head.  But the letters
arrived wave on wave.  A story I am posting today (, etc.) 
will give you some idea.  Finally, I gave in and let them do what they

	Did I mention I am an empath?

	Everything they suggested I felt as if it was actually happening. 
Usually, this was because my roommate, Kelly, and her boy friend was doing
these things to me.  We had many entertaining nights as she dragged me
through the underworld of Manhattan, turning me into a human sex sewer. 

	Now, as 18, I feel myself used up, desperately trying to reclaim
my life, hold a job, raise a kid.  Without drugs, the pain is even worse
and the compulsion to be hurt more insistent -- a constant companion
shadowing every movement.  To satisfy its needs I place myself at the
service of all who would use me. 



P.S.  I am morphic in time.
      Where I am, so is the date.
      If you want me to be 12, I will be 12.
      But I have trouble with anything much older than that.